Wanderlust
by Intoxicated Gnu
Summary: Mr. E and Pericles discuss their plans for the future, whatever that future may be. Stupidity and spoilers for Mystery Incorporated.


Spoilers for everything except future episodes/whatever I missed.

Ricky Owens took a slow sip of his nerve-soothing, ever-present wine, eyes plastered to the screen as they searched for anything out of place, anything that might give him hints. From what he could catch through lip-reading, he was wasting his time. He released a small sigh as he felt someone approach from behind.

"You are still vatching dose fools," Professor Pericles noted in disapproval.

Ricky didn't turn, still eyeing the lips of Brad and Judy Chiles, whom he could see constantly spoke pleasantries even in private. It was disgusting. "I don't think they'd give up so easily. We're getting those pieces back. I'm not going to miss any detail, no matter how small." Ricky's eyes narrowed as he imagined what he wanted to do to the blond couple. "We made a big enough mistake relying on _them_."

Professor Pericles took delight in watching how menacing Ricky could be, even if Ricky's intelligence nowhere near matched up to his own. "Die Dummköpfe are of no consequence." He landed on Ricky's shoulder, glaring at the screen himself as the couple moved out of the camera's line of sight. "Ve shall defeat die Kinder vit'out dem. If dey get in our vay again, dey shall meet die same fate as dat mouthy voman."

Ricky nodded. All they would need were small alterations to the original plan they had to dispose of the two after their usefulness had been spent. Ricky flipped a switch and the screen went black. "You're right. It would be all too easy to get rid of them. I don't need to waste my energy." He leaned his side on the chair for a moment, closing his eyes in contemplation. When he could feel Pericles growing impatient, he put his glass down. "This 'Nibiru' thing… What do you know about it?" He'd first thought it something Pericles had made up to scare off the kids until he saw what looked to be a much richer history behind it. Ricky put little credit in silly conspiracy theories, but had he not known about the disk, he wouldn't have believed in its existence either. It sounded much too much like something from one of his childhood mystery novels. Whatever Nibiru was, Pericles had to know something. He always had thus far.

"Yes, dat…" Professor Pericles stared back at the screen, his eyes burning imaginary holes in it. He had heard that word uttered many times in his search and still knew nothing more than that it was supposed to be a warning. "I know little about dis 'Nibiru'. Die Kinder tink it signifies die end of die vorlt." Looking back at Ricky, he said, "I don't belief it, but eider vay, ve need not vorry."

"Why's that?" Ricky was tired of Pericles' games, wanting straight answers for once in their friendship.

Professor Pericles had the closest thing to a smug look a bird could. "I am no simple parrot. I have faced death more times den I can count, and I haf always von. Noting can stop me." The insane parrot had a stance of certain pride that could make nobody doubt that his words were true, at least to him. "And you are no simple scientist. You haf all die money and materials to make a new planet if you must. If dere is to be an end, ve shall not meet it." Professor Pericles thought on this, a spark of excitement in his eyes. He had a plan for _everything_.

Ricky was less excited about this idea. "Then what? We float around space and wait to perish?"

Pericles chuckled under his breath. "No, silly boy. You underestimate us." It was beautiful. If not for the treasure, he would almost wish Nibiru to be real. "Togeder, ve shall populate a new vorlt. Under our rule. Just us two."

Ricky watched the bird with mild confusion, wondering if Pericles was a little crazier than he'd taken him for. "And how do you propose we populate a world without... well, women?"

Pericles seemed to grin—though that was always true. "Vhere dere is science, dere is a way."

Ricky flashed a toothy grin, his stomach shaking with laughter. "Right you are, old friend. Right you are." He refilled both glasses and clinked his against the tiny, bird-sized one.

Professor Pericles drank with a glint in his eye. _Yes, and vhen die new vorlt is filled with genius anthropomorphic parrots… den, my dear Ricky, you shall no longer be needed._


End file.
